Home › Forums › Research And Developement › 14 Days – Script for one shot comic up for grab!
Heheh… Aza, lagipun bank Utama dah merge ngan RHB bank..so dah tak valid lagi…!
icesoul,
i guess i'll wait for madhatter's comfirmation. kalau dia setuju, aku cadangkan untuk letak 1st page punya skrip. pastu aku akan explain in detail how aku interpret from writing to drawing for the 1st page. for the rest of the pages, tunggu publish dulu laaa. so madhatter, what say you?
keribang,
laaa dah merge ke? sorry aaa aku tak up to date sangat benda2 nih hahahahaha
ahh.. aku pun tatau bank2 tu dah merged. In fact aku tatau pun Bank Utama betul2 wujud! haha!
tumpang nyampuk jap…
leh tak bro aza post satu sample skrip dan page yg dah siap. nak tau gak camana writer nak bgtau rough idea kat artist apa yg nak lukis, panel whatsoever. hope u (of coz madhatter skali) don mind sharing some here. yg post selama ni pun byk skecth dari skrip, makes me wonder camana skrip tu ditulis.
Eh malu la! haha! Aku buat cara aku jer… ikut sedap jer… tapi ok gak kalo nak tengok. Aku ingat first page jer ok la kot. Boleh gak sama2 kita belajar. Aku bukan pandai sgt buat skrip nie, as a matter of fact 14 Days is my first comic script… and Aza mmg byk menolong aku utk susun flow citer tu.
ok… since madhatter dah bagi line clear, aku pun on aje laa utk 1st page tu…
ni script dia utk page01:
Caption : Day 13
1/ From a high angle, we show a partial of a single one-storey colonial building, focusing on it’s sign that reads ‘Bank Utama’.
V/O Caption : The stage is set.
2/ We are now inside the building. Looking up, we show the flourescent lamp on the ceiling. *If possible, show some police siren blue and red lights coming through the window.
V/O Caption : The lights are on.
3/ Back outside, we see several news cameramen with cameras on their shoulders. (Insert a panel zooming on one of the tape compartment. – Klik!)
V/O Caption : The cameras are rolling.
3/ (Optional).
3a/ Back outside we show top half of police cars, focusing on the siren lights (with lettering effect showing sirens wailing – ‘woooooooo’).
3b/ Zoom in on the policemen hands cocking their guns (with a few lettering effects of guns cocking – ‘kluck, kluck, kluck’).
3c/ And finally an officer’s hand holding a hailer (with lettering effect of a hailer feedbacking – ‘eeiing’).
V/O Caption : The soundtracks are playing in the background.
4a/ We are now inside the bank again. We show bank employees squatting at a corner. The manager is standing behind the counter, holding his hand up in the air, terrified.
4b/ Outside we show full figure policemen behind their cars, pointing their guns towards the bank. Some are behind the trees at the side of the bank.
4c/Maybe some crowds at the far end of the lot, behind police barrier.
V/O Caption : All the extras have taken their places. Waiting for their cue.
ok. explaination sikit pasal format skrip tu… (format ni ikut penulis laaa. but this is not the official format.)
1/ From a high angle, we show a partial of a single one-storey colonial building, focusing on it’s sign that reads ‘Bank Utama’
ok, nombor dan forwardslash tu bermaksud panel nombor satu kat page 01.
V/O Caption : The stage is set.
yg V/O caption tu pulak bermaksud voice over caption… macam suara latar or narration.
skrip di atas adalah skrip yg telah diubahsuai. kat sini aku post original 1st page script:
Page One
Caption : Day 13
1/ From a high angle, we show a partial of a single one-storey colonial building, focusing on it’s sign that reads ‘Bank Utama’.
V/O Caption : The stage is set.
2/ We are now inside the building. Looking up, we show the flourescent lamp on the ceiling. *If possible, show some police siren blue and red lights coming through the window.
V/O Caption : The lights are on.
3/ Back outside, we see several news cameramen with cameras on their shoulders. (Insert a panel zooming on one of the tape compartment. – Klik!)
V/O Caption : The cameras are rolling.
3/ (Optional).
3a/ Back outside we show top half of police cars, focusing on the siren lights (with lettering effect showing sirens wailing – ‘woooooooo’).
3b/ Zoom in on the policemen hands cocking their guns (with a few lettering effects of guns cocking – ‘kluck, kluck, kluck’).
3c/ And finally an officer’s hand holding a hailer (with lettering effect of a hailer feedbacking – ‘eeiing’).
V/O Caption : The soundtracks are playing in the background.
4a/ We are now inside the bank again. We show bank employees squatting at a corner. The manager is standing behind the counter, holding his hand up in the air, terrified.
4b/ Outside we show full figure policemen behind their cars, pointing their guns towards the bank. Some are behind the trees at the side of the bank.
4c/Maybe some crowds at the far end of the lot, behind police barrier.
V/O Caption : All the extras have taken their places. Waiting for their cue.
5/ Inside the bank, we see a guy, from a low angle, standing on a table, holding a gun on each hand and pointing them in 2 directions. One straight ahead towards the bank employees squatting on the floor, the other to his left at the bank manager behind the counter. (I’m leaving this to the artist to compose this image)
V/O Caption : Daddy’s in a movie now, sweetheart. I am the director, and my script was long written by fate. (or ; I’m the director. Fate is my script.)
notice the last part yg aku boldkan tu? yang itu takde dalam skrip baru yang telah direvisekan. kenapa takde? pasal mengganggu flow cerita 1st page. utk page pertama, sebagai permulaan/pengenalan bagi sebuah komik, kita kena letak tajuk, nama artis dan sebagainya. 1st page juga bertindak sebagai 'penarik minat' pembaca. so u got to put a killer drawing kat 1st page.
dalam skrip asal, panel ke lima does not function that way. dia macam anticlimax pada page tersebut. so aku suggest agar the last panel tu dianjakkan ke page02. reason dia:
i. panel 4 ada impact besar, since dia menggambarkan seluruh scene tersebut. sekali tengok, pembaca dah dapat agak scenario serta background komik tu. basically tak perlu explain banyak2 utk bagitau pembaca cerita ni zaman bila, pukul berapa, kat mana dan sebagainya.
ii. bila panel 5 dianjakkan ke page02, imagine how it would be printed first. atas kertas, page01 biasanya di sebelah kanan majalah. kemudian utk melihat page02, kita kena kalih mukasurat utk melihat bahagian belakang page01 (are u following me on this?). so kira kita bermain dengan cara pembaca tu membaca komik tu sendiri. kita kawal what should be seen, and what shouldn't.
iii. panel 5 dah terus memperkenalkan main character… which we wouldn't want to show in page01. ini kerana dah ada narration yg jelas, cuma tak tau sapa karakternya. so bila pembaca kalih page, barulah dia tau sapa main karakternya….
so the next step, planning the page.
berdasarkan image di bawah, aku tunjukkan camana aku arrange empat panel tu. the killer panel, terletak kat bawah page tu, is where the big scene is. aku dah letak anggaran kat mana the captions would be. tapi still boleh ubah if madhatter tak setuju or something.
aku juga bercadang utk letak tajuk dan artis/penulis kat bahagian bawah kanan panel 4, maybe superimpose or something. so bila nak lukis each panel tu, have to keep that in mind. even, bila nak lukis, kena ingat bahawa kita ada caption yg perlu diletakkan di atas lukisan tersebut.
the next step? drawing each panel….
sementara tu, ada soalan?
[attachment tidak dipindahkan semasa pemindahan server]
tq shukran jazilan
aku tgh buat ringkasan guide buat komik based dari guide yg kak ruby kasik. dan juga aku pun nak blajo camana nak tulis skrip komik (mana tau tetiba aku tukar angin jadik writer pulak one day ) dan juga blajar intepret apa yg writer cuba sampaikan pada artis. thnx a lot guyz, gud lak in da project! :sengih:
::edit sbb ada lg penerangan rupanya :love: ..malu2::
ok skang ni camana korang discuss ttg each panel tu, ok cth panel 1, so mh (madhatter) dah bg penerangan skit, then aza submit the sketch utk diskas or mh lukis dulu skit2 then aza refine? or it works both ways?
pasal panel tu, mmg aza plan utk buat kotak2 biasa ke? x plan utk buat kotak yg fancy skit? @ ia x sesuai dgn mood cite tu nanti?
aku rasa idea memperkenalkan watak on the 2nd page tu cantek dah, most manga ka do it. antara sbb yg aku igt sekali, bila ko flip kulit komik tu, 1st thing u saw is the 2nd page, baru ko baca 1st page (tp bergantung pada layout mags jugak la kan? aku agak shonen jump semua design camtu, never read one tho).
ok tu je kot soklan dari aku.
the next step: imagining the scene.
dari skrip yg diberi oleh madhatter (based on page01), cuba imagine apa yg ada dalam scene tu. try and list stuffs that u, as an artist, want to show. so this is what i imagined:
i. dua baris kedai setingkat with a decent architecture
ii. dua lot kedai yg digabungkan membentuk sebuah bank
iii. banyak kereta polis bersepah kat luar bank.
iv. jalan selebar 12 meter dengan parking di kiri kanan jalan.
v. some sidewalk
vii. interior bank tersebut
a) kaunter teller
kaunter pertanyaan
c) tempat menunggu
d) tempat nak beratur
so aku start dengan cara paling sempoi:
aku build a 3d model of the whole setting, dengan interior bank tu sekali menggunakan software sketchup 3.0. sempoi je nak pakai. letak 2-3 model kereta sekali kat dalam tu, and voila! siap dah settingnya (utk page01, that is).
next step: imagining each panel
[attachment tidak dipindahkan semasa pemindahan server]
nganjing 'tul pakai sketchup!!
baru la padan masuk “serious project”!!!
just to make it clear: aku cool je tengok aza nyer pensel render..betul gak apa yg madhatter cakap pasal inking tu clean sgt.
cayalah korang!
hahahaa bohrtaag… jangan jeles.
teknik ni banyak orang buat, tapi pakai software2 yg berbeza. aku pakai sketchup pasal dikalangan bebudak akitek kat UTM, ni laa software paling power utk buat 3D design. keyword di sini ialah DESIGN, bukan PRODUCTION. biasanya 3D software lain is a production software, not design, contohnya 3dsmax or lightwave. tapi sketchup direkabentuk utk membantu akitek membuat design bangunan.
imagining the scene: from 3D to full rendering.
PANEL 01
bila aku dah buat 3D model tu siap sehingga puas hati, baru laa aku start export angle2 yg sesuai. remember, dalam 3d model tu, tak perlu buat detail2 sangat. pasal lepas ni nak trace balik.
1/ From a high angle, we show a partial of a single one-storey colonial building, focusing on it’s sign that reads ‘Bank Utama’.
V/O Caption : The stage is set.
step 01: selecting an angle
aku start export one of the angle yg dirasakan sesuai utk panel01. notice kat dalam skrip tu dinyatakan “from a high angle”. tapi aku menghadapi masalah utk carik high angle yg tak nampak kereta2 polis kat depan bank tersebut. kalau aku dapat carik high angle pun, problem pulak pasal tulisan bank utama tu takleh dibaca. so aku terpaksa pilih dua tiga angle yg sesuai, dan last2 aku pikir aku ambik yg paling neutral, which is this one.
image di atas adalah image direct export ke jpg dari software sketchup tersebut. pastu aku masukkan dalam coreldraw utk print out. saiz image tersebut adalah separuh A4.
step 02: preparation for tracing
bila dah print out, line dia sangat halus laa pulak. so aku ambik pen artline 0.6, dan start godek2 rough line tersebut. masa ni ko start adjust bentuk bumbung ke, apa ke… masa proses ni jugak ko letak orang/karakter kat dalam sketch ni. make sure ink tu tebal, supaya boleh nampak masa tracing nanti.
bila dah siap ink semua line2 yg ko nak (bukan semua line yg ada kat situ kena ink!), baru laa boleh start buat tracing tu.
step 03: tracing
proses tracing ni senang je. kalau ada lightbox (bukan lightboxx ) senang sikit kerja nak trace ni. kalau tak…. hmmm… pepandai laa hidup. carik laa kertas yg nipis sikit macam 70gram or whatever. butterpaper pun boleh jugak.
so trace guna pencil outlines aje. kalau korang nak buat ink pun boleh. pencil is just my personal preference.
step 04: rendering
so bila dah puas hati, boleh laaa start rendering.
* * *
ok, contoh di atas adalah proses yg aku lalui dari awal sampai habis utk setiap panel. lepas ni aku tak go into detail lagi dah. aku cuma akan cerita dari aspek angle sahaja.
PANEL 02
2/ We are now inside the building. Looking up, we show the flourescent lamp on the ceiling. *If possible, show some police siren blue and red lights coming through the window.
V/O Caption : The lights are on
berdasarkan skrip yg madhatter tulis, panel ni perlu menunjukkan bahagian interior bank tersebut. well, since madhatter takde declare cerita ni zaman bila, so aku tak boleh laa nak memandai2 tukar skrip dia utk bagitau pembaca bila cerita tu berlaku. so aku fikir, since kat setiap bank ada buletin board yg ada time, day and date, so aku fikir, baik aku fokus board tu.
lagipun, madhatter nak nampakkan lampu di siling, dan kalau boleh lampu siren polis. keyword: kalau boleh. masalahnya, tak boleh hahahahhahah , unless nak buat color.
so aku pun amik angle interior yg boleh gambarkan apa yg skrip tu nak. at the far side of the wall, kita boleh nampak jam menunjukkan 2.15 petang. aku belum letak tarikh or hari pasal tunggu madhatter punya suggestion. kalau nak tukar time tu pun boleh. takdehal.
di samping itu, aku juga keep an angle yg mana KALAU ada orang nak kaler, dia boleh tambah the part that the script requires: cahaya dari siren kereta polis. on the right side of the panel, sebenarnya adalah tingkap depan bank tersebut.
menjawab soalan icesoul:
pasal panel tu, mmg aza plan utk buat kotak2 biasa ke? x plan utk buat kotak yg fancy skit? @ ia x sesuai dgn mood cite tu nanti?
actually, depends on the script. kadang2 writer demands a different feel. kadang2 tak kisah. ia juga bergantung pada style masing2. ada orang nak establish style penceritaan sendiri, ada orang just prefer a standard format.
aku punya style?
setiap page mesti ada messagenya sendiri. setiap page mesti ada satu killer panel yg take EXTRA attention, especially utk menarik minat pembaca/peminat. antara reason dia antaranya ialah supaya setiap page could stand alone and tell the story, my ability to illustrate the story, and madhatter's flow of writing. it's an architectural principle, yang mana setiap piece of drawing should be able to stand alone and illustrate your idea. aku apply benda yg sama kat sini.
kalau ko refer matrigal, ko akan realize benda yg sama. setiap page terdiri dari satu killer panel yg besar, dan beberapa panel yg kecik. aku juga control the rythm panel tu, kadang2 aku guna:
i. flow-flow-bang-BIGBANG
ii. bang-flow-bang-flow-BIGBANG
iii. BIGBANG-flow-flow
ah, pandai2 laaa tranlate rythm pattern tu hahahahha 😆 !
oh another thing lupa nak habaq:
sometimes the writer ada buat kesilapan/error. jangan segan nak betulkan dia. contohnya: dalam madhatter nya skrip ada tulis:
1/ From a high angle, we show a partial of a single one-storey colonial building, focusing on it’s sign that reads ‘Bank Utama’.
kat malaysia ni, takde single story colonial building, unless it's a house. itupun rarely diorang buat single storey. reason dia ialah, masa zaman pendudukan inggeris, semua rumah melayu (kayu) setingkat aje, paling tinggi pun raised floor macam rumah kampung2. so inggeris buat 2 tingkat atau lebih pasal nak eksen yg diorang tu lagi powerful. lagipun bangunan bertingkat doesnt take up footprint space that much.
so aku tukar jadi kedai standard senibina kontemporari dan terletak kat satu kawasan komersil. biasa laaa…. bank tak nak bukak cawangan kat tempat ceruk2, unless there is no choice. lagipun kalau buat kat tempat ceruk2 tu… lagi senang nak kena rompak 😆
so this is where i use 6 years of studying architecture into comics. kah kah kah. never imagined it would end up like this
so this is where i use 6 years of studying architecture into comics. kah kah kah. never imagined it would end up like this
Tak sia2 ko blaja! haha
Pasal single storey colonial building tu, actually aku pun tak penah jumpak! Tapi ada rumah colonial yg raised floor (so bawah kosong). Bukan apa, aku ada tengok paper, ada satu bank bukak satu cawangan baru gunakan kolonial building. Aku cuma imagine nakkan the space around the building, coz since it's a stand alone building, bila tunjuk keta polis keliling nampak gempak sikit. Tapi ko nyer kontemporeri building tu pun bagus gak… rasa 'ordinary-everyday' bank.
Icesoul, ko tengok sendiri la.. aku pun bukannya terer sgt. Nie pun tengah blaja la nie. Kadang benda yg aku describe tu selfish gila! haha! So aku tak kisah sgt bila Aza ada diff opinion yg dia rasa lagi best represent the idea.
Aku nyer formula lak.. 'Blow-blow-bang-bang-bang-BIGbang!' 😈 lawak jerr… oklah, skrip page 05 pun tak buat lagi nih! nanti marah lak artist!
ermm detail abis explaination tu. tq aza dan madhatter. kekadang kena tau gak camana nak komunikate dgn writer ni, kang cite dah gempak hancus dek artis yg ikut sukati dia je kan.
btw aku tgh tunggu crack utk sketchup 3.1, ampes evaluation period dia 480 minit je, apa sgt buleh blajar dlm masa tu, PShop pun takes a week utk paham sume interface dia. kedokut punye kompeni.. [_[
pasal inking, kalo byk2 style dlm satu episod, tak ke klabu mata pembaca nanti. biasa dgr episod satu A pensiler B inker, then episod dua baru A pensiler C inker @ D penciler B inker. at least kena ada sorang yg dah buat episod sblm tu utk maintain the feel of the story. ermm.. kalo campur2 ni tak penah dgr pulak. ok ke camtu?
then apa guide kalo nak buat splash page [1 panel 2 page, biasa kat tgh2 komik]. apa yg perlu ditekankan dlm lukih page nih? adakah ia lebih kepada scenery @ tunjuk overall scene?
mh, papepun effort korang ni dah best dah, kite sama2 belajar kat sini. lgpun kite asik dok bincang tu la ni la, tp hasil tarak, haa ni la hasil dia :]
ok usaha lagik!
actually, sketchup bagi evaluation period rendah, pasal dia punya learning curve SANGAT mudah. tak caya, try laaa. lagi senang dari photoshop, dan jauh lebih senang dari 3dsmax. tapi jangan harap renderer laaa. benda ni bukan production software, tapi more on designing tool.
'Blow-blow-bang-bang-bang-BIGbang!
😆 😆 😆
apa yg di”blow” tu?
ko ni nakal la mad!
oit madhatter… where's the rest of the script?
haaa! kan Aza dah tunggu! Ceh malu la artist lagi laju dari writer.. haha! But seriously aku bz betul dua tiga minggu nie. Relax Aza, malam nie aku try kasik habis, esok aku mail kat ko. Skrip utk page 3 & 4 dah dpt kan?
apa yg di”blow” tu?
Yg 'bang' tu tanak tanya? 😈
madhatter, aku dah send PM kat ko on page 01 – 04 preliminaries. gambar tu semua low-res, pasal taknak membebankan bandwith pergh (nanti mystic marah hahahahha!!). aku main taip laju je… belum sempat proof read. kalau ada typo or grammar error kat prelims tu, bagitau aku…
K Aza, dah dapat.. tengah study. All writings tu takpe, nanti kita sama2 finalized. Aku nyer grammar pun berterabur. Tengah tulis pm reply kat ko.
p/s : check balik 'humanely possible'. Aku tau aku tulis 'humanely' tapi skang aku rasa cam 'humanly' lak lagi kena… tho if it's ok, i'd like to stick with 'humanely'.
it is humanely,
pasal grammar angel leh tolong :manga:
ahhh.. thx angel. jadik proof reader utk citer nie boleh? Nanti bila dah finalised, we'll check with u ok?
btw, whats the diff between humanely ngan humanly?
proof reader? boleh^^
u says 'human' when you're refering to a certain spesis of life in general
(kata am),
but when you are refering to a type of behaviour or emotion, it will be 'humane' (perikemanusiaan),
thus if you says a human behave in a humane way, then it will 'humanely' (berperikemanusiaan)
ok? :manga:
thx for the xplanation angel… learning new stuff everyday here at pergh.
no pro brother…….
aik apesal dah silence jer????????
we're working babeh. setakat ni madhatter ada projek so dia bz sikit. aku pun sebenarnya ada projek C++ yg aku kena settle by this thursday. so aku pun bz sikit
ahh..sorry people esp to the artist, Aza. My hands r full plus aku rasa m/board aku kong (tak sure, tak sempat check). So comp aku dah seminggu tak leh on. Will get back to writing the end of 14 Days next week maybe.
Settlekan keje (sekolah) ko dulu Aza. Agak2 benda nie nak publish bila? Bila aku nyer deadline Aza? haha…
hmmm deadline?
senang cerita macam ni aaa. kita nak publish kat umbra kan? aku ada janji nak buat cover utk umbra no 10. so we might set for that. but at the rate umbra is going, probably hujung tahun ni kot deadline nya (no offense aaa ubder ).
no rush.
….silap terguna org punya …
hehehe… aku rasa slow2 OK gak… ada duit, komik publish la… biar slow dari hilang terus…aku rasa sempat lagi kuar umbra#9 hujung tahun ni kalau ambil kira rate kuar tiap 2-3 bulan… bukannya apa…. aku buat komik pun part-time jugak… tapi #6 dah hampir siap dah…. kadang2 terleka masa berlalu terlalu pantas….
HDD aku pulak meragam…. kena format lain ni agaknya….
no worries…
lo, dah silence je, macam dah KO jer
Pergh! | Lukis, Komik, Kartun, Animasi, Games Malaysia
All information and content contained in this website are provided solely for general information and reference purposes.
By browsing this web you agree to our privacy policy.
© 2001 - 2021 All Right Reserved by Vasqtech Network Malaysia